There is a very famous writer named Don Miguel Ruiz who wrote a bestselling book called The Four Agreements. They are:
1. Be impeccable with your word.
2. Don’t take anything personally.
3. Don’t make assumptions.
4. Always do your best.
They have been called a practical guide to personal freedom, and if everyone could follow them, this world would absolutely be a better place. The people who followed them would undoubtedly be happier, healthier and more successful.
Today I want to share a few thoughts on number 3 – Don’t make assumptions. Unfortunately, this happens to most people on a daily basis. They think they know by what they see and hear and experience, but in truth we don’t know what we don’t know. The longer I live, the more aware I am of this – and there is much I don’t know. There are many things that none of us know. We don’t know for certain what motivates someone else, or why they say or do what they say or do.
We just celebrated Mother’s Day – with Father’s Day coming up soon – and I hope yours was, or will be, beautiful.
I am blessed because I have a loving family and they showed they cared in many ways. But Mother’s Day is not necessarily a wonderful day for every woman. There are those who want to be mothers, and can’t. There are those who lost children and mourn on this day. There are mothers whose children are unkind to them, and there are mothers who feel like complete failures because their children are not doing well. We have created a National Holiday that assumes that being a mother is a wonderful, happy thing. Many times it is. Many times it is not. You will never be able to tell by looking at someone you see in the grocery store who is who.
It has become public courtesy and socially acceptable, when someone casually asks ‘how are you today?’ to reply ‘fine, thank you, and you? We may not be fine at all – and neither might they. It’s just what we do. It’s just what we say.
How often has someone acted out in public, and the people around them assume they know a lot about them. We don’t. We don’t know their personal story, or history, or what kind of day they just had. We have words with someone – or even a pleasant day with someone – and so it is easy to assume we know what is wrong with them, or what is right with them. We don’t.
For those people we are really close to, who share themselves with us freely, we can have a pretty good idea that we know them, but everyone still has a secret place in their heart that they guard intimately.
To live a life without assuming is a beautiful, freeing, uplifting and high vibrational way of being. It also contains a very valuable truth. We have to admit we don’t know. And that’s okay. That’s the way things are supposed to be in a world of duality. That is how we have evolved.
As time goes by and our society changes, people are going to rely a lot more on their intuition and their hearts, and less on their minds. We may indeed, some day, be able to evaluate with reasonable certainty how someone is doing by their colors and their auras and the energy signature they project. We aren’t there yet and we need to be mindful of that.
It is easy to assume, based on our past history and personal desires, that something that happens to us, or around us, is good or bad. You may assume that waking up late and getting stuck in traffic and being late to work is a bad thing. Perhaps it’s the best thing that ever happened to you, completely arranged by your angelic team to put you in a certain place at a certain time to have a certain life changing experience.
Since it is really hard to stop assuming at all, and since this is a way of life for many people, how about trying this? Just for a little while, assume that everyone you know is trying their best. Assume that whatever happens to you is for your highest and best, since you have sent that desire up to God. Assume that everything is in its right place and all is as it should be. It just might be an interesting experiment, and you may just find that, at the end of the day, you are feeling really good about your life.