Are You Helping, Assisting, Or Enabling? –
I watch Dr. Phil. I know he’s over dramatic and plays for ratings and appears to exploit suffering at times to do it, but I have to give him this: he does put a spotlight on some very current, invasive, and important topics. He has a lot of guests with troubled children. The children often blame the parents for their difficulties instead of accepting the responsibility for their own lives. The parents often live in denial of their enabling of the situation and contribute to the fact that the children don’t take responsibility.
Caring people often give money for basic necessities of life when the money actually goes to anything but. Now a true gift, of course, should never have strings attached, or it’s not a real gift. It’s a purchase. In the case of giving food money to drug addicted children, the parents are purchasing their own peace of mind – at least for another day.
True help requires an honest assessment of the situation and an honest look at your own capabilities to fill those needs. Each and every person has to figure this one out for themselves, but they need to be armed with the facts and the truth. Doing the same thing over and over, always hoping for different results has been used as an apt definition for ‘insanity’. Sometimes the situation calls for us to ask ourselves this question: ‘am I helping, assisting, or enabling?’
We all benefit, as human beings, by helping one another. This would be a pretty sad world if we didn’t. We live in a Divine Flow of energy and in order to receive we have to give, and we can live with the certainty that as we give from our hearts, genuinely and generously, we will be blessed in return. Just a quick reminder here: you can’t give to get. That’s self-centeredness and sends out the energy of manipulation. Giving with the assurance that the Divine Flow will have to automatically refill you, in some form or manner, is completely different. That’s understanding the law of balance. That’s trust. I hope you understand that critical difference.
Is it time to take as assessment of who you give to, and what you give, and why you give? I try to do this constantly, and I know that one of the most important reasons I have goes back to a Bible verse from my youth: “And the King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Sometimes you can help the world by helping the one. Sometimes you can help the one by withholding what they are asking for, and giving something better.
My blessings go with you as you honor these truths in your life.