January 19, 2010 –
Happy Birthday to me – yes, today is my birthday. I learned long ago that the best way for me to celebrate was to take responsibility for my own happiness on this day and do something nice for myself, and then whatever other people chose to do was just an extra bonus. Of course this attitude was born out of a couple years of disappointment, frustration and anger that other people weren’t remembering me in ways I thought they should. Most of my successes in life have had their roots in disappointments, fears and frustrations that I eventually worked my way through. I would love to say that there comes a time when it’s all good, all the time, but I haven’t gotten there yet 🙂
If there is one thing I have learned in my many years on this planet, however, it is that if you can find the hope and hang onto it, things eventually get better again. I seem to be eternally hopeful, particularly when all the signs point to a new, improved and better existence just down the road. I was hopeful again last Friday when we had a big triple-crown of energy: The trifecta of solar eclipse (when the energetic patterns of the planet get rebooted) the ending of mercury retrograde and a new moon (when we are planting the seed thoughts for the next month).
I expected, as I usually do on a high energy day, to open the door and find riches at my doorstep.
Instead I opened the door and found, as usual on a high energy day, a bunch of old fears lying there. My first reaction was resentment and self-pity. How could this come back when I have done so much work on overcoming negative thought patterns? Second was my feeling of disconnect from God. Where are You in all this? Third was fear. What if this doesn’t get any better, or even gets worse?
Then of course as a teacher of energy and a person who knows how creative my thoughts are, I immediately found myself in an old familiar catch-22. I couldn’t stop thinking fearful things, and since I knew every thought was attracting more, I found myself sinking into even more fear because of what I believed I was creating.
Angels to the rescue – they always come through. I eventually pulled out all the old familiar truths that are now a part of me – the tools i use for overcoming negative thought patterns – and I started reminding myself that:
1. God is more powerful than my random negative thoughts.
2. I have set templates in place to immediately transmute negativity the moment it leaves me.
3. Angels are guiding my path and the paths of those I love.
4. There is a grand purpose to this existence and it is all about my soul growth, my over-coming and my ascending to a higher level of consciousness during this energy window that is presenting itself now and for the next several years.
But friends – it’s work. Perhaps many of you have already faced your fears and your dark nights of the soul and are in a place of joy now. Congratulations to you. I love having you in my life because you hold a pattern in place that I can aspire to. Perhaps there are many out there like me who are still a work in progress, and to you I say just keep the faith. The only way we lose is if we quit.
Blessings and more, Elaine